Archive for the ‘Heathen’ Category

Scientology Contract Leaked

July 27th, 2009 Comments off

Here’s a good one:  A scientology contract was leaked.  If you want to work for them as a Class V officer (whatever that is), you need to sign this document: scientology-class-v-org-contract.

Among other things, you need to agree that:

  • you won’t get paid
  • that if you quit before the end of your term (2.5 or 5 years), you’ll have to pay a ‘penance’.  You need to pay them!

It’s good stuff.  I think I’m going to join.

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Mr. Diety

July 25th, 2009 Comments off

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Jenny McCarthy Body Count

July 22nd, 2009 Comments off
Go to for up-to-date deaths cased by Jenny McCarthy's anti-vaccination campaign

Go to for up-to-date deaths cased by Jenny McCarthy's anti-vaccination campaign

Categories: Heathen, Science Tags:

June 30th, 2009 Comments off

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Homeopathic cure for thirst

June 30th, 2009 Comments off

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High school teacher found to violate the first ammendment by calling creationism, “religious, supersticious nonsense”

May 3rd, 2009 Comments off

So, James Corbett, a 20-year teacher, says to his high school class, “creationism is religious, supersititious, nonsense,” when referring to a previous lawsuit where a science teacher was forced to teach evolution. One of the students sued Dr. Corbett because he violated the student’s right to free speech!

And the judge agreed with the student!  What a load of crap.  Creationism is religious.  Creationism is superstitious. And Creationism is nonsense.

So, it seems to be that if you believe something that’s in conflict with science, you can just go to a science class, get the teacher to say something about your stupid belief,  then sue the teacher.

Read about the case here.

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April 13th, 2009 Comments off


I hate to just keep copying stuff from Pharangula, but I have to.

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If Atheists Ruled the World

April 1st, 2009 Comments off

This is awesome. Thanks Rob.

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Jesus causes high blood pressure

March 6th, 2009 Comments off

Diane just sent me this (Click the image for more info).

Anybody whos really faithful wouldnt think of using any other salt.

Anybody who's really faithful wouldn't think of using any other salt.

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Another cross-species gene transfer

February 12th, 2009 Comments off

Click on the photo for the full story

I still like the green sea slug plantimal as the best cross-species gene transfer, but wasps are pretty good too.

There’s no consent for these surrogate parents. Tens of thousands of wasp species lay their eggs inside caterpillars [ed.  Google says there are more than 200,000 species of wasp], injecting toxins that paralyze the hosts and allow their young to feast on the innards with impunity. Researchers have long wondered what exactly these toxins are and where they came from. The answers, a new genetic analysis reveals, have to do with a virus that infected wasps millions of years ago.

That’s pretty sweet.  Wasp gets infected by toxic virus.  Wasp co-opts virus genes and uses it as toxin to let babies feast on a caterpillars.  Wasp has 10,000 descendant species.

Or…. if you prefer…. God made 200,000 species of wasps, and gave only 10,000 of them the ability to lay their eggs inside catapillars, and inject the caterpillars with virus-like toxin that coincidentally perfectly matches the DNA from an actual virus.  He does this just to tweak the collective nipples of anybody who might be sequencing DNA strands 6,000-10,000 years after the creation.

You know.  Whichever works for you.

Categories: Heathen, Kid Friendly, Science Tags:

Captain Sullenberger Speaks out: Why do people keep thanking God for trying to kill them?

February 10th, 2009 Comments off

I really wish pepole would stop thanking God.  I'm the one who saved your life, dammit!

I really wish pepole would stop thanking God. I'm the one who saved your life, dammit!

Captain Chesley Sullenberger, the now famous captain of US Airway flight 1549 that crashed in the Hudson river, just can’t figure out why people are so grateful to God for trying to kill everybody on board.  The incredulous Sullenberger said

“Look, God could have sent only 1 bird into one engine to teach us a lesson.  Or how about some wind sheer to shake things up a bit.  Or maybe he could have waited until we gained some altitude so we could have gotten back to the airport safely.  But damn.  No.  He was trying to kill every one of us.  He waited just long enough for us to get high enough to easily kill everybody on board if we crash.  Then wham! 2 birds, 2 engines gone.  Bastard.  But, the good thing is, I kick ass.  I was able to land that plane in the god damn river.  Who else has done that with everybody surviving?  Nobody, that’s who.

I dunno.  Maybe he really wanted to kill only one of us.  Maybe is was Emma Sophina, who wrote that song called, “A song for Sully,” which ostensibly is about me, but if you listen to the words just thanks God over and over.  Damn.  I saved your life woman, and what do I get?  A song about the guy who tried to kill you.  Shit.”

Sully continued ranting for another 15 or 20 minutes, but ended the interview with this.

“I’d like to thank God for sending those 2 birds into my engines.  It’s made me terribly famous and I’m going to get rich bitch!”

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Craven’s Razor

February 1st, 2009 Comments off

That Occam’s Razor is another dangerous idea.

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Jesus is really getting around. Now he’s going to nuzzle your falafel.

January 4th, 2009 Comments off

He already vacated the floor tile to take up residence in a sandwich.   Unfortunately, He never made it into a sandwich, but is on for auction instead. (via Bad Astronomy).

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Oh Jesus. Now He comes on floor tiles.

January 3rd, 2009 Comments off


So, can you spot the jesus here?

So, can you spot the jesus here?

Here’s a really bad case of pareidolia, and a good analysis of this here, and the original report here.  Sorry to hear that He left the cat’s leg, and too bad if you’re the sucker that bought the doggie door.   Jesus is no longer residing in your flap.

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Prayer max 5000

December 11th, 2008 Comments off

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